In His Hands

[Listen to Asha read this story]

(Told by Nalini)

Spiritually, I have been fortunate. I came to Ananda at an early age and have never wavered in my commitment and devotion to this path.

For many years, however, my personal life was tumultuous—two divorces, cancer, and years of crippling self-doubt. Through all that long difficult time, Swamiji’s patience with me has been nothing less than heroic.

Dozens of times he counseled me for substantially the same reasons, offering the same advice, couched in different words, according to the context at the time. “God loves you. Don’t give up. Keep offering your devotion to Him. You can do it. I know you can.”

There was no one dramatic moment when my life changed completely. Swamiji’s influence has been like water on a stone. At first imperceptible, then gradually, over time, carving into the rough surface of my ego a smooth receptacle for God’s love.

My story will not be written in large letters across the pages of history. Mine has been a humble life. In his poem Samadhi, Master offers divine reassurance to devotees like me: “The sparrow, each grain of sand, fall not without My sight.”

I am like the sparrow. Many times I have fallen. Each time, God has noticed, and through Swamiji’s love, lifted me up again.